10 marriage moves for strong kids

May 20, 2013

It may be Marriage Monday, but I’m seeing most things through the lens of the graduation of our oldest child. She’s the one who first taught me what it is to be EXPECTANT about growing a family. I’m pretty late in even posting anything about marriage today, because I’ve just been doing some appreciating of the moments, some talking with the husband, some listening to the daughter, some farewells with the grandparents, some cleaning up of party things, and lots of reflecting …

IMG_3894Happy weekend? Oh, yes.  Sad weekend? Moments. I didn’t turn out to be a weepy mom, but maybe I’m saving up for when Jo packs the car and heads north to college! You’ll be one of the first to know.

The graduation of your child will turn your thoughts to your marriage, stirring up questions like: Did we spend enough time with our child? and  Did we model a godly marriage?   But graduation is an unarguable event that points to this fact:  We didn’t have children to keep them with us forever.

You know this verse like the spout of your water bottle:  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh,” (Genesis 2:24).  We raise our children to leave us; we marry to hold fast for life. 

In just a few short months, JoHanna will leave us.  Jeff and I will both cry our eyes out! And we will be full of joy. And then we will come home … together. (Jacob will be here , too, but not for long …) Maybe the best thing a mom can do isn’t be sure she has a great scrapbook to pass on, has the cutest grad party decorations, or cries on cue at the commencement.  Maybe the best thing a married mom can do today is to invest in her marriage.

10 Things you can do today to raise a strong graduate

  1. When kids are little, find a babysitter and use them regularly.
  2. In the moments when you have to “choose,” be loving, but choose your man.
  3. Make your bed a place for the two of you, with few exceptions.
  4. Stop making excuses for always including the kids.
  5. Learn something about what your husband enjoys doing.
  6. Out to eat? At church?  In the car? Sit by your man, without a little “wedge” between you.
  7. Make your health and appearance a priority for HIM, not just for you or the kids.
  8. Put some of that DIY energy into making your bedroom a special place.
  9. Give your husband your attention (eye contact/touch/listen) after his/your work.
  10. When you’re out walking, hold hands.

Marriage Mondays Button #2These are just a few practical steps you can take today. Your stronger marriage will help your kids grow into stronger adults who are ready to leave the nest when the day comes.

What would you add?

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By Julie Sanders

How to make herb butter for graduation

May 17, 2013

It’s Feed Me Friday

Herb butter isn’t just for graduation, but this time I’m making it especially for a celebration of JoHanna’s graduation. Did you read my post over at The MOM Initiative about how Moms are Meant to Graduate? I like food ideas that don’t require a lot of time, make a lot of mess, hurt my food budget … but make me look like I’ve been scouring Pinterest (I haven’t).

Since tomorrow is graduation (sigh, smile, wipe a tear, be stunned …) I did some of the most important things this morning:  Pray about our daughter’s future, confess some of my fears (ouch), change the sheets for relatives, make coffee, feed the birds, make a punch ring, and stand on the porch. I don’t think I’m procrastinating, but I admit it would be nice to have one.  more.  day.  to linger in this season.

So let me share simple herb butter steps, along with a few insights into my pre-grad thoughts.

Herb butter for graduation

  • Soften 1 stick of unsalted butter (To shape a life, you need to introduce warmth.)
  • 1/2 Tablespoon of any herb mix you like; I used a mix of chives and rosemary.  (Variety tastes better, and we have to nurture that appreciation in our kids.)
  • 1/4 teaspoon of sea salt (More earthy than processed, it’s good to remember we are but dust.)
  • 1/2 teaspoon olive oil (This helps to make it easily spreadable; no one appreciates a “hard” texture in butter or in us.)

Herb butterI tripled this recipe, but these are the basics for a single batch. I have to say that herb butter really does beg to find a home on homemade bread, so just give in!

IMG_9672

Rinse lightly and then dry your herbs, then chop them to a fine size, but not minced.

herb butter

I suggest mixing your herbs in thoroughly before sprinkling the salt all around and mixing, so everything is fully combined. Finally, drizzle the olive oil over the butter and then stir in completely.

Let the butter chill until it’s about the consistency of mayonnaise. Prepare a piece of clear plastic wrap and scoop your mixture into the center. Pull the plastic wrap up and fold it over, gently shaping the butter into a log.  If you don’t want to go this route, you can also let it full chill in the bowl and then use a melon baller to make herb butter balls. It really depends on how you will serve it and how much time you have.

So for the rest of the weekend, I will be unplugged and focused on family and celebration. I promise I’ll share some grad day pictures over at the Come Have a Peace Facebook page.

I hope your weekend will include some warmth, variety, softness, and awe that you are created from the by God who breathed life into you and calls you to a life of bringing Him glory. That’s worth celebrating!

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By Julie Sanders

Fighting depression & human trafficking

May 16, 2013

The fight against Human Trafficking is close to my heart. I find it also ties my life to others who share my burden, friends like Genny Heikka and Teri Lynne Underwood.  Click on their names to see what they BOTH shared about the issue just this week. (If you follow me on Pinterest, I pinned both of these and you can add them to your pinboards, too.) Our hearts flow in the same stream.

But then things like graduation happens, and along with that come things like relatives visiting and parties and gift choices and taking time to say important words. All of a sudden I start putting time and energy into “big” decisions like using the medium tortellini or the large tortellini, votive candles or pillar candles, hair up or hair down … You see where this is going.

Details have the potential to suck us down the road to drama and drama is a fast route to depression.

One of the best ways to assure that details don’t outgrow their real size and demand more energy or time or significance than they should is to widen our view.  Considering the needs of others is a great way to guard against depression. Look up and out to bigger things, more eternal things, more … yes, important things. Graduation is important, and for us it’s pretty big this weekend, but let’s not forget that 27 million people around the world are enslaved. While my 18 year old joy of a daughter has the privilege of walking across a stage to receive a diploma, millions will never even go to school or where a clean anything or want to be seen in public or grow up to 18. Who has a need in your piece of the world?

I’ll just get the tortellini I see first.  More importantly, I want to share this with you. This is how our city is responding, and I’m so excited to be there. If you’re local, JOIN ME! If you’re in a hometown of your own far away, join us in prayer, because this touches your neighborhood too.

Journey Across the City

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1 Comment Filed Under: Discouragement, Growing Faith, Human Trafficking, Spiritual Growth, stress Tagged With: , , , , ,
By Julie Sanders
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